Just a little sidenote entry here on why I write to an audience, never refer to anyone by name, and why I write this personal journal on an online blogging site instead of keeping it in a physical journal or local file of some sort.
The writing to an audience part is simple enough: it's just how I write well. I just write better when I have an audience in mind, even if that audience is "people who will never actually see this". It forces me to be more focused and clear, and makes me provide more back-information, which I figure may lead me to explore topics that might have otherwise escaped my attention (and if that sounds somewhat like a psychotherapy technique, then good, since this is more or less a form of self-therapy for me).
Why don't I refer to anybody by name, though? It's not like keeping names secret adds anything to the overall secrecy of writing nobody sees anyhow, right? Well, it's not about that at all (doubly so, since anybody whose opinion I would care about in the matters I'm writing about would be able to put names to everybody I mention easily, anyhow.) Instead, I figure forcing myself to refer to people as "my wife" or "my best friend" allows me to reflect on my mindset at the time of writing any given sentence. Was she "my friend", "the girl I should have taken to the prom", or "the girl I wish I had ended up with" that day (or that minute)?
So why put all of this up on Blogger? Two reasons. First of all, its a hell of a lot easier for me to hide than a physical journal (not to mention typing is a lot faster than handwriting, and I'm trying to more or less brain dump here) or a local file (though I could keep a file on a pen drive or something, if I could only remember where I put it). And second, this way I have something thats accessible in many (well, ok, two right now) places. Anywhere I can connect to the internet, I can pull up this blog and jot down whatever I'm thinking at the time.
So, that brings up one more question. Why the hell am I writing THIS entry? Its not like this particular snippet is really unburying anything in my subconscious (or at least I didn't think it would, though I only had a single reason for this when I started writing). Well, honestly, I figure that eventually somebody other than myself probably WILL see this journal, either because I decide I want them to (likely a headshrinker of some sort looking into my thought process. . . er, no offense) or because I stupidly forget to log out of blogger and someone takes a peek (Please dear God you're a random stranger and not somebody I actually know if that's the case).
